Sep
29
Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have some ideas as to what we would like our children to be when they grow up. Some of us secretly rejoice when we hear them say “I want to be a doctor”, even though at that point they are usually too young to understand how many science classes or how many years of school that will require. Hoping your child chooses a specific profession may be a universal trait of parenting, but the preference of careers can definitely be tied to culture.
In the Haitian culture, I came to realize that the expectation for many parents was for their children to become one of three professions: doctor, lawyer or engineer. Everything else fell under “other”. In a way, it was good to set the bar high, but on the other hand it gave children a limited view of which careers they could aspire to pursue.
Of course as you get older, you learn that a medical doctor is not the only profession where you can help people and that becoming a lawyer or engineer does not guarantee a high salary. The downside to discovering these other options is that you always have the thought in the back of your mind that you are not going to make your family proud.
So, have you been able to completely abandon your idea of what would be a successful career for your child(ren)? Or, do you gently/strongly veer them towards certain fields? Do you have a certain career path that you would like your child to take? If so, do you think your culture has influence over your preferences?
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Posted in Culture, Parenting, Questions Culture Immigrants Parenting
Sep
22
A while ago, I came across a well written article about what we, immigrant children, remember about our past. The author, Jaya Ramesh, talks about how initially her family’s memories consisted mostly of the country they left behind, but as time passed, they consisted mainly of their experiences as a new immigrant and those of their “home” country began to fade.
An important thing that I realized when I read this article is that I have not actively shared my childhood memories with my daughter. It’s so easy to reminisce with friends about how things used to be, but I forgot how important these stories are to keeping her connected to Haiti, even though she may not visit as often as I did. This is even more difficult for me because my memories are not of the country we left behind as they are for my parents. They consist of wonderful summers that seemed to go by too quickly and interesting customs (like getting all dressed up every Sunday, even when you didn’t have anywhere to go).
Now that I recognize the problem (they say that’s the first step, right 
), how do I go about sharing these stories in a way that they will be meaningful? It may be her age, but my daughter has quite a short attention span; especially for the abstract. I’d like to start the habit of not only telling her more about my childhood memories, but also presenting it in an interactive way so that they will become our memories.
Any suggestions?
Posted in Culture, Parenting, Questions, Traditions Childhood Culture Haiti Parenting
