Awkward Situations
By virtue of being in a foreign country and not speaking the language, I expected to have embarrassing moments here. I thought it would be *fun* to keep track of these wonderful moments so I can look back one day and laugh 
. However, one incident that happened a few weeks back still makes me cringe every time I think about it – up until now, I still consider it to be my worst moment in Caracas.
On my way to pick up the kids from school, I usually try and stop at the store nearby to see if they have items that my usual joint doesn’t. This is is a smaller store and the closely spaced aisles make line forming difficult. On this particular day, the lines were especially long and I only had a couple items.
So, there I am standing in line for about 20 minutes about to reach the cashier when this older lady cuts right in front of me and starts putting her items down. Now, I’ve become pretty relaxed about such petty things, but I thought it was rude for the 5 other people behind me who have been waiting, too.
Thinking she may have been confused because of the strange layout of the store, I move a little closer to her and say “Senora, yo pienso que la cola esta alli”. That’s when my own personal Armageddon broke out.
The woman began screaming at me. Not only that, she was shaking her hips and making funny gestures with her fingers – which I think was an attempt to imitate my behavior. The only words that I was able to make out was trains, banks and always like that.
The worst part was that all the employees were just giving me a funny look. I couldn’t tell whether they were sympathizing with me or condoning the woman’s behavior. I know that people probably don’t assume I’m a foreigner by looking at me, but I thought the fact that I said NOTHING in response could have tipped them off. Still confused by the rant, I put my items down (in front of the crazy lady), paid and quickly left.
Here’s where it gets good. I left that store thinking that the woman was upset about waiting in line everywhere; hence the trains, banks, etc. comment. But, as I started telling my husband the story, his first question was “Was she an older woman?”. I said “Yeah, I guess.” Then he explained that senior citizens do not stand in line here – it’s the LAW. So, what I thought was her complaining about the lines in Caracas, was her saying that she does not have to wait in line and it’s like that everywhere – trains, banks, etc.
At that point, my embarrassing moment turned into a bunch of other negative emotions. I felt that even though she was right, the yelling, finger pointing and gyrating were unnecessary. I also felt let down by the way the employees were looking at me. I still have yet to go back to that store because of this…
Do you think I’m overreacting or justified?
Tags: Caracas, Embarrassing moments abroad, Expat Families, Senior Citizen privileges in Venezuela, Social Norms, Venezuela
In my country (Morocco) this is a habitual occurrence with people cutting in line, and I do the same thing as you did. However, there is no such law in Morocco. In fact, I am on two crutches, and people of every age still try to cut in front.
The fact that you now know there is a law, people probably were thinking you were inconsiderate of older citizens, and probably didn't realize you didn't know about the law. It would not be possible to go back and explain that to every possible person who works in the store and may have seen you. So if I were in your situation, I would have avoided that store, too. Perhaps after 6 months, I'd say most people would have forgotten about it, and I'd go back (for example if it is a grocery store convenient to my home). Aside from that, the other people probably thought that the older woman also acted badly. It might also be a culture where people just don't attempt to help out in other people's disputes (kind of like Morocco).
I don't think you overreacted. I think just about ANY American could have been caught in the same situation, especially when people constantly try to cut in line, and you feel like they are taking advantage of you. So, have you noticed since then if younger people never cut in line, or if only older people do, and of what age seems to be OK to do it?
Actually, people here are very respectful of lines. I remember being impressed by this when I visited and saw how people stood quietly and orderly in line for the bus – even if it meant they had to wait for another one. I think that's what pushed me even more to intervene. I knew how they handled themselves in lines, no matter how long, and I thought the woman was a bit confused. People always offer me seats on the train when I'm with the kids or let me cut in front when I only have a few items. I assumed that was the protocol always – you only get to cut when offered. I'm glad I don't seem crazy for avoiding the store. My plan was exactly what you said – I'm going to wait a while and then I'll probably feel much better about going in. Thanks for the reassurance.
Thanks, Deborah, I'm glad my comment helped you feel better!