A pleasant sad surprise
I’m always saying how one of the downsides to raising Third Culture Kids is that they have a hard time forming bonds. I feel like my kids, especially my daughter who is 9, watch people come and go so much that they ‘ve learned not to get attached. In a way this helps with all the goodbyes, but on the other hand I think it’s healthy to be sad when people leave and long to see them again.
I’ve even mentioned this as one of my reasons for wanting to make sure my daughter goes to high school in the States. I feel like there’s a bond that gets formed coming in as freshmen and leaving as seniors. Not to say that it’s the only way, it’s just what I remember as my strongest feelings of attachment outside the home. Until this day, I still wonder, worry and hope the best for my high school classmates. Friends and family have reminded that every person is different – there are people who hated high school and I keep that in mind as my daughter’s personality continues to develop.
So, on the last day of school I had a great shock as we were leaving when I saw not one, not two, but a whole bunch of kids sobbing. At first I thought it was for some sad news that they all must have learned, and then it dawned on me – this is the last day of school and some of them won’t be coming back next year. Add that to the fact that many of them leave immediately after school ends to spend summer vacation abroad and this means goodbye…possibly forever.
I don’t know, this experience has thrown a wrench in my thinking. Obviously, my friends and family are right in that it just depends on the person and his/her personality. I’m not going to assume that placing my daughter in a situation where I was able to form bonds will do the same for her. I also have to keep in mind that people show attachments in different ways.
What do you think?
Tags: Caracas, Expat Families, Expatriates, Immigrants, Third Culture Kids
My experience is that from country to country I totally sucked at forming bonds in high school; not many. That was just my personality. I had other friends at international schools who’d also hopped countries several times with their families. They were like socialites and everybody loved them and wanted to be their friend. I really think that it depends on the personality.