I will be the first to admit that budgeting was never talked about in my household growing up. I remember as an adult when I asked my mother how she handled money and her answer was “I just made ends meet”. She never saw the utility of budgeting because there were so many non-negotiable items (rent, food, tuition, etc.). In her opinion, budgeting was for people who had extra money to put away.

In one of my first finance courses in college, I learned the opposite. I then became a fan of Suze Orman and really got the idea of managing my money as opposed to letting the chips fall where they may. In my efforts to stay financially independent, I find that my peers, especially those in the Haitian community, view me as a miser. What I try to convey is that I’m not piling up my money in hopes of becoming rich, I saving money to avoid becoming poor (or in financial trouble).

Basically, I’m convinced that one of the reasons immigrant populations struggle out of poverty is because they are never taught the importance of managing money. There appears to be a misconception that financial management is something rich people do and that’s just wrong. I am already trying to break the cycle with my children who are growing up in the generation of “I want now”. In order to avoid letting money become too important in your life, you have to use it like alcohol: responsibly.

What do you think about immigrants and money? Was/is financial management discussed in your household?

I have always been a homebody. In high school, my strict (very Haitian) parents  would not let me go out as much as my friends did, so I fought against them just because…well, I was a teenager. When I got to college and was able to go out whenever I wanted, I tried it for a while and got tired of it. It made me tired for classes, plus I was also holding down a job. Regardless of the circumstances, I knew that home sounded a lot better to me than a night out on the town. For starters, my favorite pastime is reading – where better to read than your most comfortable couch?

Fast-forward many years and now I have babies. These babies LOVE to be out. If they even sense that you may be going out, they rush to put on their shoes and go wait by the door. It’s crazy. I’m convinced that they inherited this trait from my husband since he also loves being out and about.

Which leads to the issue of me at my happiest in my home and them not so much. I have to remind myself that they need to go out, sort of like a plant needs water I also realize that there is so much for them to see and we won’t be here forever. Now that it’s summer, it’s the best time for us to explore all that Caracas has to offer and I try to, but I know we could probably be out more. The worst is that even when my husband offers to take them out, my heart breaks a little. I wonder why they can’t be like me and instead of wanting to go to see that new park, choose to stay home and cuddle with mommy. It’s selfish, I know, but I’m still hopeful that it’s a phase they’ll outgrow…

Do your children have any preferences that are opposite of yours? How do you deal with it? Or, do you remember wanting the complete opposite of what your parents wanted? Please share your stories.

For the New Year, I wrote about the Haitian tradition of eating soup joumou (pronounced joomoo)  on January 1st. New Year’s Day happens to also be Haitian Independence Day, thus making the celebration two-fold. Expat Mama had the great suggestion on posting the recipe for those of you who like to try new things.

In my family, as well as all the Haitian families I know, recipes are never written down. Up until a few years ago, I would still call my grandmother every time I was trying a more complicated Haitian dish and she would tell me from memory what to do. The good thing about many of the recipes is there is always room for improvisation. Over time, I have modified my grandmother’s recipes to make them more my own. However, soup joumou is not one of them. The recipe below is a mix of various family recipes that I have gathered which most closely resemble how I prefer to have soup joumou. It should feed four people. Feel free to ask any questions, and I’ll consult my grandmother for the answer.

Ingredients:

1 lb. cubed beef stew meat
2 boxes of frozen squash or one whole fresh one
1 malanga
2 onions-sliced
3 large carrots
6 medium potatoes
¼ lb spaghetti or noodles
2 limes cut in half
2 tsp. thyme
2 tsp parsley, 3 minced garlic cloves
½ cup scallions
salt, black pepper, and hot pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Soak the meat in hot water and lemon and set aside in a bowl
2. Add seasoning (salt, black pepper, hot pepper, garlic, parsley) and let marinate for 2 hrs – this can be done the night before, as well
3. Boil meat in stockpot with 3 quarts of water until tender (about 1 ½- 2 hrs)
4. Add more additional water if necessary and remaining ingredients (malanga, potatoes, carrots, onions, scallions, thyme, squash) except noodles
5. Cook for 20 minutes and add noodles. Let simmer for 30 minutes to an hour.

And voila! The finished product should look something like the picture above.

Note: My mother has let this cook all night and it turned out fine. Traditionally, the spaghetti is not intended to be al dente, but you can cook it to your liking.

Photo courtesy of Whole Foods

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The Government of Haiti called for a weekend of prayer beginning last Friday and many people gathered at Champs de Mars in Port-au-Prince to watch. As we watched footage of those praying with strong conviction, I can’t help but think how different their plans were just one month prior.

Venezuelans celebrate Mardi Gras a bit differently. Apparently, most of the parades take place outside of Caracas and some people use the holiday to spend time at the beach. The only other time that I’ve seen Caracas this quiet was during the Christmas holiday. Very different indeed.

What keeps me hopeful is that I know how resilient Haitians are and there will be Mardi Gras next year. I can’t wait to hear how the musicians will take all that has happened and all that will happen during this year and turn them into catchy tunes.

Photo credits: calix and Paphio

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In most other countries in the world, efficiency does not triumph all. I remember when I got to France and was warned by our liaison that walking while eating was faux pas; even among students . I just couldn’t believe it.  Who had time to get home from classes and sit down to eat lunch – whether cooked or bought. Well, by month three, I had somehow found the time. I picked up from the locals that I could stop at the daily open air market on my home and have everything I needed to make a healthy lunch. Since we didn’t have TV – at least not the “good stuff” that I like to watch – my roommates and I often shared the tasks of cooking or just ate together. Somehow along the way, this just became the norm and I needed to re-adjust when I got back to the states.

I am now back in the re-adjustment period here in Caracas, but I am NOT complaining. I have enjoyed (enjoyed being the operative word) many more meals in my short time here with my family than I would have in the states. I pick up fresh foods at the store several times a week as opposed to stocking up for a month – a small refrigerator will leaves few options. All in all, I am slowing down.

The hardest part of this transition is changing my expectations from the service industry. No matter what you are buying here, the person selling to you is not in a rush. This may seem really rude at first, but I find that they like to give each person/customer as much time as they need; even if that need is talking about the last night’s baseball game

Do you have any similar stories/perceptions from abroad?

Photo credits: markofphotograpy and Philipp Klinger

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