I’ve already established that Caraqueños are extremely affectionate people. Well, let me first clear up that I don’t personally have an issue with public displays of affection…actually, yes I do. I think it just always makes me feel as though I’m witnessing something private – like a terrible fight. However, it did get me thinking about how Venezuelans interact in romantic relationships. Every time we hang around a Venezuelan couple and they can’t go more than 2 minutes without kissing, I start wondering if they are more passionate than we are. My husband and I didn’t even act like that when we first got together (mostly because it’s just not my thing), so it amazes me that Venezuelans can keep that going after years together.

I think it’s mostly cultural. We (I’m speaking as a Haitian) don’t need all the affection to validate our feelings for each other, but they might. Even though it can make me uncomfortable, I try to think about how they would feel if they felt they had to refrain from touching each other But seriously, what if they’re on to something? What if the excessive petting leads to a stronger relationship? Well, according to this site, the Venezuelan divorce rate is only around 7% while the US is somewhere between 40-50%. Now, I know there are bunch of other factors at play (e.g. infidelity is highly accepted here), but it does make you go “hmmm”.

So, I’ve thought long and hard about this and have come to the conclusion that aside from holding hands and the occasional smooch, I don’t think my husband and I will incorporate incessant public displays of affection into our marriage any time soon. Hey, it works for us

This is a conversation that I had with my 7 year-old the other day.

Me: You have to eat your breakfast quickly this morning because we’re going out.

Daughter: Where are we going?

Me: We’re taking your brother to the doctor.

Daughter: Why?

Me: Because his eye is swollen.

After about two minutes…

Daughter: I remember one time in Florida my eye was swollen and you didn’t take me to the doctor.

Me: I don’t remember that.

Daughter: Yes, and remember you gave me ice to put on it.

Me: *Remembering* Oh yeah, now I remember.

Daughter: Well, I didn’t get to go to the doctor, how come he gets to go?

At this point, I’m feeling torn between how a Haitian mom would handle this and how an American mom would handle this. I know that my mother would have stopped me somewhere after she asked me why we were taking him to the doctor and when I brought up my swollen eye incident. She would’ve given me this look of “You’re being disrespectful.” And if I had the misfortune of not picking up on the first cue, she would’ve scolded me in a way that felt worse than being sent to my room.

I assume the American mom would tell her that she was just as special/important as her brother and the next time she had a swollen eye, we would definitely take her to the doctor. I, quite frankly, am irritated by my daughter’s reasoning. At almost seven years-old, I think she should be comfortable in her position as older sister and no longer feel threatened by the new kid in the house. I have to remind myself that she is a VERY sensitive child and her reasoning is often dictated by her emotions.

Me: You had a swollen eye for one night that went away with ice. He has had swelling for two days now. We are not discussing this anymore, now hurry up and finish your breakfast so you don’t make us late.

I’d like to think I have compromised between the two cultures