A friend of mine who is Colombian-American and has spent a lot of time abroad once said to me “Life in the States is so lonely.” I nodded to him in agreement – only somewhat understanding what he meant. I think it depends how adaptable we are – I for one have never felt lonely in the States. However, in comparison to other countries it can seem that Americans do spend a lot time alone.

For me, it stands out here mostly when I decide to venture out by myself. If I choose to stop at a cafe and have a cup of tea, within minutes I can see that I am the only person sitting alone. Maybe it’s the combination of being in a foreign culture and not speaking the language, but it does get to me. I watch the other people engaged in what looks like very interesting conversations. Most of all, they look happy.

When I think about why it bothers me here more so than the States, it’s because I would not be the only one eating alone there. Of course there are always people eating lunch together, but it’s also common for people to eat alone.

So, the question is – am I lonelier there or do I prefer the solitude. I think because it’s the way of life, I am fine with being alone. In the States, I go the movies alone, go shopping alone and eat out alone. And not because I don’t have a choice, I actually prefer it.

For those of you abroad, do you notice this difference, too? If you live in the States, do you ever feel like the culture forces solitude?

While thinking about how well the kids have adapted to Caracas, I asked myself how I’ve been doing in terms of continuing to instill Haitian and American values in their lives. The answer is: not so good.

I knew that this was going to be tough considering that the move here added another culture and I was already having a hard time handling two. But, I was up for the challenge because I didn’t want them to lose that part of themselves because of the new environment.

The first reason I think this has slipped so much is that there are a lot of similarities between the Haitian and Venezuelan culture (i.e. greeting with a kiss on the cheek). The second is that aside from school, the kids are constantly seeing people who are brown like them. For my seven year-old, that means that I don’t get a lot of questions from her about physical differences. I don’t assume to fully understand race relations here, but they are definitely different than the U.S.

As for American culture, it’s impossible to completely escape it. I know this going to sound bad, but the kids get a dose just about everyday through television and some of the kids at school.

I know those are not really good excuses, but at least I recognize the problem. I am definitely going to make a more concerted effort in the months to come.