As we watched the son of an immigrant become the United States’ 44th President, I think back to all the difficult situations that we, or our parents, have had to overcome.

For all those times people assumed that I was a refugee (because all immigrants are), grew up in slums (again, because all immigrants did), was a single parent (since all black women are) or that I was an anomaly because I spoke English clearly - I was only pushed me to keep striving to be the person my parents worked for me to be; one who was not limited by ethnicity or gender.

In recognition that my struggles are much fewer than those of my parents, I also hope that those of my children will be greatly diminished; if not nonexistent.

What are some difficult situations that you made you stronger as a person?

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Even today, I can distinctly remember what type of “talk” was considered to be disrespectful/inappropriate around adults. As a parent now, I am struggling with what is acceptable for “modern children” so that I don’t cause irreparable damage to their development.

My six-year old is very smart. She’s very curious about the world and can be very introspective about complicated issues. With that said, she also has very little self-restraint. I can remember having questions about many of the same things that she does (why is there a certain age for doing certain things, what does “dead” mean), but I was not as comfortable as she is in voicing them.

What I’ve realized is that what was considered disrespectful for my parents, is considered healthy development for parents of my generation. Although I have made great progress in accepting these changes, I also think it’s healthy to teach a child self-control at an early age. I think it’s important for them to know when it is appropriate to interrupt a conversation and what subjects are strictly for the home/family. Having this ability is what I think allowed my parents to take us just about anywhere without worry. So I’m working on this, keeping in mind that there is that fine line between disrespect and curiosity. 

Do you have a similar problem with the conversational habits of children today versus when you were a child? How do you address them without hindering your child’s development? Or, do you think that children should be allowed to say what they want, whenever they want? If so, why?

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