Most parents know that children, at a very young age, make friends. Since they do not have the means to maintain those friendships, the onus is usually on the parents to keep them in touch, etc. (by the way, this an American cultural norm).

I have come to accept these duties – just as I have all the other unexpected jobs that come with being a parent - so my issue is more with the friends my 6 year-old daughter is choosing to keep and the parents that come along with them.  Sometimes she comes home telling how her friend said something that I consider to be inappropriate to her (i.e. you better buy me this or else I’m not going to be your friend). I try to take into account that they are only 6 or 7, so they may not fully understand what they are saying. However, I also try to make it clear to my daughter that good  friends would never make such demands. I think that’s even harder a concept to grasp at that age.

So, this leads me to the problem of wanting to discuss some of these inappropriate conversations with other parents. This should be easy, right? Wrong! I am well aware that many of the parents of her friends are immigrants and this can be tricky territory. Parents, especially Haitian parents, can interpret my address of this issue as my trying to criticize their child. I actually think that often we don’t know what are kids are saying to others and I welcome parents/teachers telling me when my child has spoken out of turn. How else can I fix it?

Now, I know there is never a universal way to correctly address a touchy subject with someone, but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. Sorry for the unannounced two week hiatus. What can I say, life happens

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I was catching up with a friend the other day and we got to talking about the dynamics of a relationship between two immigrants with the same cultural background where one was raised in the US and the other in the country of origin (like my husband and I). My friend was saying how the differences between their life experiences can be great enough to make them incompatible.

It really got me thinking – since I like to think that my husband and I are compatible – but this is good point that I don’t think we think about when looking for our “mates”. I think that sometimes we are so caught up in picking someone that is culturally the same that we don’t take into consideration the person’s unique upbringing. I have also seen the exact opposite happen where for whatever reason, the person has an aversion to people who are culturally similar and veer as far away from the as possible when dating. I guess the middle ground would be a person who turns a blind eye cultural background all together and simply focuses on the person as a whole.

Either way, we are drawn to people for certain reasons that sometimes don’t pan out to be in our best interest. Does cultural background play a role in your choice(s) of significant others? If yes, have you found it to be helpful or hurtful to the success of your relationship? If not, do you make an effort to educate your partner on your cultural heritage or find it easier to simply share American cultural norms?

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